Finally!

Here's what April is looking like at my house:

• 6 appointments / classes with the adoption agency (one out of state)
• Dossier preparation (15 documents to gather, notarize, certify, and authenticate... from 3 different states)
• 4 birthday parties
• an anticipated birth, and I get to attend!

I'll still be reading, but we'll see about posting. Who knows? Maybe the insomnia will kick in again, and I'll have lots of posting time.

More CT news

Sex offender tries to steal 3-month old Hope this isn't one of K's clients. She wouldn't likely tell me if it was.

Warm fuzzies

Two bits of writing arrived in my mailbox today, both from the women of honor at the Blessingway. We asked Leslie to write a letter of reference for us for our adoption. We've been friends for 17 years, and seen many ups and downs together. The entire thing had me a little weepy, but here's the line that set me sobbing:

A child placed with Dawn, John, and Lily will not only have love and support, they will have so much more. They will have a lifetime of stars and wonder.

The other piece of writing came from Lynn in a note of thanks for our Goddess Party:

Giving Birth Amongst Friends As I sat amongst you the I faded the We of old emerged, drawn out by your sparkling glances through the celebration of the We within. Simplicity reached out from the complexity to reveal the knowing of billions that have come before, the egg grown to ripeness, some two legged, some four some that have no legs at all, yet birth it is. Welcoming enthusiasm washes over the soul. Gratitude, a pillar in the spine making me feel tall and strong as I shine back at you, thank you sweet women.... thank you so much

How old do you think I am? Found at Ghost of a Flea I'm not very good at guessing ages. I had a lovely conversation last night with a woman who I assumed was my age. Then she mentioned that she graduated in 2000. From high school.

Full Circle

Several of our friends have a special thing going on with Lily. It's wonderful to watch it develop, and I love the sense of community it creates. The tightest bonds seem to be forming with the women who don't yet have children, or whose children are grown. India, before she died, had quite a love affair with Lily. After her death, a group of us gathered and spoke of the importance of caring for India's boys, even though they were in college. They still have a group of mother hens looking after them. We also spoke of creating the type of intimacy within our group so that we know if something happens to one of us, our children will be cared for and nurtured. We haven't even said it out loud again, but the group is changing. Those relationships are growing with the children, and with each other. The unexpected death brought us to a new level. So, a package arrived today from Maureen. She was sick and unable to attend the Blessingway. She's our favorite storyteller, and we missed her! She has 3 grown daughters, and has fallen hard for Miss Lily, and enjoys shopping for her. My favorite story that Maureen tells is one from her divorce trial. It was a high profile trial, as she was married to a pop star who would make most readers of this blog run from the store or push the alarm button on the elevator where he was being piped through the intercom. (This, for the record, is one of the least interesting things about Maureen.) India was called to testify on Maureen's behalf. When India took the stand, the questioning went like this:

"State your name" "India Blue" "Is that your real name?" "Yes" "What is it that you do, Ms. Blue?" "I worship the Goddess."

*Snicker, snicker* At that point in the late 80's, I can imagine India doing this with sincerity. It was around this time that the first circle started. A group of women who all had home births got together to talk about breast feeding and motherhood, and it turned into more of a spiritual venture. I came into the picture shortly after, kid-less at that point, falling in love with India's kids. I was the one buying them little gifts, and playing games on the floor. Obviously, the circle has changed. Several of the women from the original circle of home births still participate. The midwife who caught many of those babies comes to every circle. A few new goddesses have joined. The common denominator is our connection to one friend, and to the Goddess. My wish for every woman is to feel the love, admiration, and support I share with my friends. Yeah. Have I mentioned how great my friends are? And I'm really lovin' my cyber community, too!

There is at least one person who is enjoying the 1/2 foot of snow we're getting right now.

Kitschy Cards

Housewives Tarot I've been playing with tarot cards for more than 20 years. I have a little collection of decks, and the ones I'm most drawn to recently are the tongue-in-cheek versions. Which doesn't make them any less functional as tarot cards, and keeps all involved from taking things too seriously. PoMo tarot is brilliant. If I do a reading for someone else, I still prefer the Crowley Thoth deck. Detritus even painted my favorite card for me. Many of my friends use the Motherpeace deck. I like it, but find the balance of a male / female deck better for me. Links, links: Which major arcana of the Thoth deck are you? Gaian Tarot (nice name) Tarot 4 Pets

A Goddess Party!

I had the pleasure of hosting a Blessingway for two friends today. It was great fun creating the invitations and party favors. With much help from the women in our circle, we pulled off a beautiful little gathering. The two women of honor, Lynn and Leslie, were seated together and had their feet soaked in rose water and then massaged during the ceremony. We created labor beads, a Navajo tradition in which each woman in the community adds a bead to a string to represent herself and her babies. We also told each woman "my wish for you is......" and put them in a journal for each. As we did this, we passed a skein of yarn, (shorn, carded and spun by Keri...the farmer in blue) and connected each woman in the circle by wrapping it around our wrists. We assisted each other in cutting, and now we'll wear our bracelets until both women deliver. Kate mastermined and prepared most of the feast. Today we dubbed her "Super Woman". I may make her a cape. The food and company were fabulous. We ended by all placing our hands on those big bellies as a group. Then, of course, there were presents to open. Lots of pampering stuff for the women. I have to say that I have the coolest friends on the planet, and I'm so grateful.

Getupgrrl on Meditation

Chez Miscarriage is a fabulous read, even if you don't face infertility. I usually find myself laughing out loud (and sometimes crying). Today's post is hilarious. It covers anxiety, cults, meditation, and serial killers. (and note the number of comments she gets. Some posts have more than 300!)

Local Witch Fired

She's the witch to watch. Alicia Folberth of Derby, a Wiccan high priestess, taped a cable television program Monday, hours after she was fired from her job, ostensibly because of her need for time off to practice her faith.

Folberth, 39, said she was fired as a graphic designer from U.S. Surgical Inc. in North Haven after seven years because she began requesting unpaid holidays off.

Read more here.

Check out the site for the church here.

I have never met Alicia in person, but we have corresponded. The Beltane festival that she organizes each year is quite popular in this area. Looks like she'll have more time to get it set up this year.

Images from today's news

A 75-year old woman protests in India. More photos from today's news around the world.

Adoption oddities

This is a strange and humbling process. The social worker is checking into every area of our lives, from health to finances to what our house looks like. I'm done with the first chunk of paper work without running into too many snags. I need 5 copies each of our birth certificates and marriage certificate, so I had to send cashier's checks to 3 different states. In Wisconsin, each copy cost $3 and I received them within one week. In Connecticut, each copy was $5 and I had them within a few days. I'm still waiting for Massachusetts. Of course, I need 10 copies total from that state, at $28 each. Yes, for each push of the 'copy' button....$28. Or perhaps they have a clerk more adept with copying technology, and is able to get the task done with even less button pushing. They'd better arrive soon on some pretty fancy paper. I've been connecting with many families who have adopted internationally. The basic process includes an approval process by the state you live in, and then petition the federal government to bring an orphan into the country. After you've jumped through those hoops, you need to meet the requirements of the country from which you'd like to adopt. Almost all of them have age restrictions, but here are a few others I've found interesting: Philippines: proof that you actively practice a religion. Any religion. Korea: a very specific weight requirement. No overweight parents. Colombia: proof of infertility (and my heart disease doesn't count) Each country has different fees as well, and different travel requirements. Russia requires that both parents travel for 2-3 weeks, twice. Guatemala requires that only one parent travels for 3-5 days. Korea will allow a child to be escorted by someone other than the adoptive parents. Now I'm on to the next part: soliciting letters of reference from family and friends, and statements from our doctors stating that we are not likely to check out any time soon. This screening seems excessive when I think about how darn easy it is for the average person to have a kid. No state license nor clearance from Homeland Security required for sex.

Cryptic message for Miko

You are so sweet! Thank you for the package that arrived today. Lily is toting around the little green guy proudly proclaiming that it will allow her to heal from anything in 5 days. And if only you could have heard her tell her dad today that SHE got a package from JAPAN. "You know, it's on the other side of the world. The moon is probably there now." It was a lovely suprise. There is something special in snail mail and a hand-written letter. I'd like that custom to stick around for awhile.

I bring you this week's Lilyisms:

From the back seat, going over Talcott Mountain: "Mommy, are mountains like Mother Earth having chicken pox?" On her hands and feet, tush in the air, backing up to my computer chair: "Cute butt delivery for Mom!" This morning, over gluten-free pancakes: Me, to kid: "Could you possibly be any cuter?" Kid, to me: "Could you be any cuter, Mommy?" Me (gleefully): "You think I'm cute?" Kid: "Well, yeah. Except your butt." *Decided not to pursue this one* Did you notice a theme? She's discovered potty talk. Poop, pee, and butts are regulars. Yep, I fear that home visit from the social worker for our adoption proceedings.

When will it stop?

It's still snowing. 4-6 inches expected today. Have yet to remove the 4 inches that showed up yesterday. John got rid of the 5-6 inches that arrived Tuesday. Going to build a fire and look through my garden plans.

America Demands that Uppity Women Be Humbled Maureen Dowd, New York Times

Every culture has its own way of tamping down female power, be it sexual, political or financial. Americans like to see women who wear the pants be beaten up and humiliated. Afterward, in a gratifying redemption ritual, people like to see the battered women be rewarded.That's how Hilary Swank won two Oscars. That's how Hillary Clinton won a Senate seat and a presidential front-runner spot. And that's how Martha Stewart won her own reality TV show and became a half-billion dollars richer while she was in prison.

(via Witchvox)

The Long Road

I just finished The Long Road: A Fable by Mark Plattner. Cap'n Marrrk is offering a few free copies over on No Touch Monkey!, and you should certainly take him up on his generous offer. The book has remarkable depth, although it is a pleasantly easy read. I was reminded of "people" I've met, those I need to rekindle a relationship with, and some I need to find. The subject is one many of us wrestle with daily, yet the Cap'n is able to bring it to a dialogue that is easy to relate to. Hey, Gaia is even involved! Oh, did I mention that mine is a signed copy? I'd be willing to lend my to someone near (Lester, this is right up your alley), but everyone else should try to get their own at NTM! I'll be watching Cap'n Marrrk's latest adventure, Everyday Avatar, as well. In was born in response to and inspired by Everywoman is a Goddess. Looking forward to lots of bloggity introspection on both sites from all the wonderful people involved.

Red Tape

This is the week when I'll attempt to get the first bunch of paperwork done for the adoption. I'm buried beneath a pile of files now. Everything in triplicate, certified, notarized, blah. I've been on the phone with county and city clerks in 3 states already this morning. One of my personality traits that got me nominated (by John) to do the paper work was my sense of orgnaization. I already have the files set up, lists made, and phone/email list done. The thing I'm getting hung up on is writing the "autobiography". Five pages typewritten, with specific questions. I'm having trouble narrowing it down to five. One question asks for info about our children. Well, you all know that I could write five pages alone on how entertaining she is, never mind how in love we are with her, or how she's changed the universe. Most of the autobiography is written, now I just need to shrink it. Figure out what may be incriminating. It is a strange feeling to have your life examined to see whether or not you should be able to raise a child. State and federal investigations. Fingerprinting even. I'm communicating regularly with Homeland Security. Hope they don't find my blog. How would I explain the masturbation synonym generator?

Lilyisms

At the consignment shop yesterday: Lily crawls under a rack of clothes and emerges on the other side, right in front of a grandma shopping with her grandchildren. Granny: "Ooo! Where did you come from?!" Lily: (long pause) "My mommy's tummy".

Cole the cat

Just returned from an emergency trip to the vet. Coletrane was diagnosed last month with asthma, and was treated with a shot of steroid. He's been fine until a few days ago, when he started wheezing. And sneezing. I researched treatment of asthmatic cats, and called the vet again. We agreed on Prednisone, a steroid, in tablet form to start. The clinic tried to charge me $40 dollars for a one month supply. What they didn't count on: a) we are a houseful of professional patients and b) one of my dearest friends is a vet tech, so everything gets run by her first. My husband takes Prednisone, in the same dosage prescribed for the cat. A month's worth costs us $3.83. So, I have a script written, and fill it at Walgreens. This is the same darn clinic that tried to sell us fluids for my cat in kidney failure at $20 a bag. We got through a bag a week. I now buy them online for $1.52 a bag. rrrrrrrr. OK, back to Cole. He was struggling to breathe today, even after 3 days of the Prednisone. After 1.5 hours and x-rays, here is the list: -collapsed trachea -collapsed lungs -respiratory infection -acute asthma No wonder he couldn't breathe. Poor baby. He came home with me, and lots of meds. I'm still a bit worried, but he seems to be feeling better now. We go back in two weeks.

Peripartum Cardiomyopathy

Here is an excellent overview of peripartum cardiomyopathy which I found posted on a support board a few of us PPCMers put together. I will reach my 5-year survival status in 8 months! A note to fellow bloggers Miko and Olivia on the frequency of this disease:

In the US: The prevalence is estimated to be 1 case per 1300-15,000 live births.

Internationally: The prevalence is reported to be 1 case per 6000 live births in Japan, 1 case per 1000 live births in South Africa, and 1 case per 350-400 live births in Haiti.

explodingdog His name is Sam. You send him the title, and he'll draw the picture. And he's in Connecticut!